Rock climbing, “The Beach,” and Sauvignon Blanc

January 11, 2017

Krabi stretches for miles along the Andaman Sea. The same limestone cliffs that pierce the sky of Vang Vieng and the ocean of Halong Bay dot the landscape here. We stay on Klong Muang Beach, a few kilometers from the busy beach town of Ao Nang. A daylong boat trip around the Phi Phi islands takes us from overly touristed beaches to pretty good snorkeling offshore. The setting of the movie The Beach, Maya Bay is now the opposite of the secret discovery that Alex Garland wrote about. Hundreds of tourists (or “hordes” if you’re feeling less polite) pose for selfies on the strikingly beautiful beach enclosed by sheer karst cliffs.

The next day, we rent motorbikes and drive into Ao Nang. A 20 minute longboat takes us to Railey Beach, a quaintly ramshackle beach town that brings together a fun mix of backpackers, rock climbers and a few mid-level luxury seekers who escaped the hordes at Phi Phi Don.

We walk into the first tiny storefront that advertises rock climbing and within a half hour, we are harnessed and walking past the far end of East Railey beach. Our feet are bound into painfully snug rock-climbing shoes. Shao, our instructor, shows me how to belay him so he can attach the top rope for our first short mini-climb. I find it hard to believe that none of the first-timers get confused and leave him dangling without protection, but he seems unworried.

Apparently, I do the first mini-climb quickly, because when he points me to one of the three ropes along the real cliff wall, he is pointing towards the longest rope. He grins at me. Encouragingly. I think.

We wait for a young couple to finish their climb on the same line. The guy goes first, interminably slowly, struggling and asking questions every step. He gets stuck for 10 minutes about 15 feet up, but eventually makes it around a protrusion. About halfway to the first ledge, he gives up, his arms visibly shaking. He takes selfies for a minute and asks to come down. His girlfriend’s tone is definitely condescending as she compliments him before determinedly starting her ascent. You could see her ambition to put him in his place by going farther and faster. She gets stuck at the same protrusion and loses her grip. Though she doesn’t fall because she is top-rope climbing, the slip breaks her confidence. Her hands begin to shake and she starts to cry. She yells at her guide to lower her down.

And then it was my turn. Nothing like following someone who was just reduced to tears.

Your first climb is terrifying. Well, at least mine was. Though you are protected by the counterweight of the person at the other end of the top rope, your body still screams that you are holding onto the edge of a cliff by your fingernails. I do a good job of looking at my feet and not the beach below when I step without looking. Being forced into blind reaches when you can’t see a handhold is the most nerve-racking. A couple of times, Shao shouts out instructions that seems nearly impossible. “Left leg, farther up! Reach around the rock farther. Now step out and around with your right foot.” WTF? I can’t see around that fucking rock. And you want me to just reach for a blind hold?

I’m wet with sweat about halfway to the first ledge, so I stop for a rest by the time I reach the ledge. Shao warned me that the last 7 meters of the climb was not a beginner climb, but he said to try it. I get about 2/3 of the way up those final 7 meters of the climb, clinging with my toes to miniscule footholds on a face that is past vertical at points. I give up a few body lengths from the top carabiner, because I’m exhausted and I can’t figure out my next move. I rest in the harness, and leisurely take some selfies that I actually earned.

When I come back down, I realize by the scared look on Shao’s face that the 8 inch zip-lining scar on my forearm has reopened and blood is dripping down my arm. Score! Blood will make my rock climbing pictures even more impressive.

Angel is nervous about heights, but he gamely attacks the climb. He climbs really fast, which I find out later is because he is convinced if he slows down, he’ll rethink this whole climbing bullshit. He makes it to the ledge, despite having jammed his finger in the mini-climb. He calls it a day and doesn’t try the last few meters.